New Year Resolutions

It is a hopeful time at the Hip Chick household as we prepare for a new year.  We have never been happier to say goodbye to a year as we are now- and few would fault us for the sentiment.  Yet, we cannot write off 2013 as entirely bad.  One learns much more about themself while navigating challenges and heartache than when life sails on cruise control.

New Year resolutions are a common tradition- but not often with much seriousness.  Society jokes about how quickly some may be broken.  As we enter 2014, however, Mommy has a list of resolutions we hope not to break.

1.  I resolve to accept that my child's journey is a marathon, not a sprint.

When our daughter was first diagnosed last January, a trusted medical professional advised us, "You will have six months of hell and then everything will be fine."  At Hip Chick's day surgery appointment three weeks ago, however, her surgeon advised, "you have 15 to 18 years ahead of you to treat this."  What a wide swing in expectation for us parents.  We clung to that initial piece of advice and managed Hip Chick's medical plan like a 50 yard dash early this year.  Now, we realize we are tasked with a much greater journey. While we hope and pray our daughter will not need additional surgeries, there are no guarantees.  And so we must embrace any future relays with a different approach.

2.  I resolve to empower and empathize with my child- not pity her.

We are fortunate in that Hip Chick is a highly motivated little girl and does not naturally sit around feeling sorry for herself.  Yet, we need to remain vigilant in that we do not allow her to fall into that trap.  We need to raise her with "can do" instead of "cannot."

3.  I resolve not to define my household by my child's disability.

Our household has been characterized largely by Hip Chick's diagnosis and medical plan this year- and rightfully so.  But 2014 is time for us to define our household by other things- vacation, volunteer work, creative endeavors... hip dysplasia will always be there.

4.  I resolve to be an advocate for my child's disability.

As mentioned in early posts, most of our friends, family, and colleagues had not previously known of a child with hip dysplasia.  Many remarked to us that they thought the condition was only for dogs.  Mommy's OBGYN had not previously delivered a baby with DDH- and we live in a major metropolitan area!  As our child may be the only encounter some people have with hip dysplasia, we have an opportunity to represent it appropriately as it arises in conversation.

5.  I resolve to build the household and marriage my husband and I dream of alongside my child's disability- not let it crumble because of it.

This last one was hard for us in 2013- especially for Mommy.  It is natural to forego the gym membership, social events, or fun opportunities because "my child needs me."  But a year has passed and without any guarantees for the future, we need to build what is possible for our household- to accommodate Hip Chick's needs but not fold because of them.  This will take energy and effort, of course, but we owe it to ourselves to do so.

Five resolutions for our new year.  All achievable.  We cannot control or predict what Hip Chick's medical needs will be in the year ahead, but we have the opportunity to begin anew.  That is the best resolution of all.