Four Bird Calls

On the fourth day of spica, my true love gave to me:

Four bird calls...

With colder weather in this week's forcast, Daddy has his eyes set on smoking meat for an upcoming game day.  This was a well-timed excuse for Hip Chick's first visit to our local Bass Pro Shops.  Mommy knows little about such things and may have been a tad unprepared for the experience which awaited us.

We entered through amusement park turnstiles.  I pondered whether we had brought our child into the dark subconscious of Willie Wonka's evil twin.  As we walked in, my senses were overrun by a giant waterfall, generous taxidermied decor, and vast Duck Dynasty holiday gift displays.  I think I spied Santa wearing camoflauge in a speedboat decorated with flashing string lights.  The waterfall instantly won the "safe bet" nomination and so Hip Chick and I watched catfish swim at its base while Daddy searched for his supplies.  

After Daddy returned, we carried her into the hunting section.  Despite her screams of terror toward the previously attempted "two turtle hugs" experience, she wanted to pet the taxidermied polar bear, which bore teeth at us as we passed the ammo.

Once we reached our destination, we let her play with any bird call she laid hands on.  Ducks... and turkeys... and pheasants, oh my!  Of course, we were a bit of a spectacle.  I realized that we channeled a twisted sort of Family Guy meets Green Acres mash-up as the lost member of ZZ Top stared at us with his mouth agape.  It may have been my ruffled pink sweater and velvet ballet flats amidst the sea of plaid flannels shirts and Doc Martins.  It may have been Hip Chick's "Punky Brewster" dress over her bright green cast on an aisle with no other children.  It may have been me hoisting her over my shoulder, exclaiming, "OK, Daddy, take a pic!" while Hip Chick made her duck calls reverberate through the warehouse with professional rigor.  We stuck out sorely, but we had an experience to remember!

And so...

Three French horns...

Two turtle hugs...

And a babysitter, parents' night free!