Siblings and Disabilities

"Isn't it better to see her legs and not carry her in those casts anymore?"  Our Pink Princess has returned to our home for additional summer fun and this was one of her first observations.  She was not with us for the urgent petrie cast removal or our two weeks of fretting between appointments.  Perhaps it's best that she was spared that experience.

I have lightly touched upon how siblings can be affected by disability in prior posts, but the topic deserves a revisit.  This weekend marks the first time that Big Sis saw Hip Chick with her legs free of traction or casting since February.  Big Sis is also in a unique situation because a vast majority of DDH cases involve firstborn females (from the mother).  As Big Sis is the household's first child, but was not my first pregnancy, she has an unusual view of watching a younger sibling experience the traction, surgeries, and castings necessary to correct hip dysplasia.

She admitted today that she is worried about her sister.  She asked why her sister needs more surgery and when they will stop.  When we began this journey, I had explained to our Pink Princess that some little girls only need one surgery while others need many.  I added that we would not know what kind of little girl G-d gave us until enough time passed to show us.  I revisited this conversation today, but this was clearly not the answer she was looking for.  

I wish I could explain to her why this is happening to her sister.  Unfortunately, scientists have no firm evidence as to what causes hip dysplasia.  I can imagine that explaining any disability to a sibling would be difficult, but the lack of definitive answers adds a layer of complexity to a sibling's experience- especially one who is still relatively young.

The experience of watching two siblings navigate disability together has inspired me to write a small children's book for the girls.  I have the general concept mapped out, but will need time to actually write it into a quality storyline.  I hope to give it to them as an upcoming holiday gift.

Meanwhile...

With the liberation of Hip Chick's legs behind us, we were ripe for additional summer activities.  Hip Chick "hops" a bit on her knees now and we thought that she was ready for a local soft play center, photo above.  The girls enjoyed exploring a rainforest themed play area, filled with tunnels and opportunities to climb.  Hip Chick would pull herself up a small incline, and then Big Sis would hold her hand and slide down alongside her.  I love those girls.

Afterward, we treated them to our local farmers market.  We enjoyed talking to them about where produce comes from and helping Hip Chick recall names of fruits and vegetables.  As we were leaving, we passed a fruit pop and slush stand with very creative offerings.  How could we say no?

A strawberry-lemon pop and a coconut-mango slush were the day's winners!  The girls were so excited with their treats that Mommy and Daddy hardly managed to steal a bite.

A fun outing, indeed.  I don't quite know how to present answers to Pink Princess about a disability that I haven't fully wrapped my own mind around... but experiences like these help us to make fun memories despite.  Perhaps that is the best medicine for us all.